"Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure."
~Luna Lovegood

"Pressure
It can turn a lump of coal into a flawless diamond, or an average person into a perfect basketcase."
~Demotivator

"It's not the most original advice, but just be yourself. Unless you're horrible, in which case pretend to be someone nicer."

"The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please, rotate your phone by 90 degrees and try again..."

"Here's where you try to act like the average american teenager and try to hide the fact that you're sleeping with your boyfriend from your parents"
~My Mom

"I don't speed. Much. Except on the freeway. And even then, I'm not as bad as some."
~My Dad

"My mind jumps around like a penguin!"
~Dad

"i will kill someone in cold blood for a turtle mount...."
~WoW Fanatic